Spider

Post from September 25

I'm not normally afraid of spiders. Yeah, they have eight legs and move creepily around and movies have been made about arachnophobia, yadda yadda. But the spiders I have encountered and maimed/killed in Michigan have been, at most, a little squishy when squashed. After the deed is done, I shudder, make a gross noise, and move on with my life.

I was walking up my aforementioned apartment stairs the first week of being here, and paused quickly to catch a glimpse of Dongda's soccer field, only to have that smooth, green expanse be interrupted by three heee-uuuge silhouettes of spiders. I bet you each leg on these beasts were at LEAST an inch long-maybe more. And, when thinking about arachnid body ratios, the bodies were probably large enough to dissect without microscopes. I don't even think I can call those spiders. They are... rodents. yes, small rodents.

So once I got over my shock, I logged that moment away, so as not to forget that that size creature exists on our campus. Alright (head nod). Life goes on.

So we three teachers at Dongda run a weekly event called English Corner. It is a sort of club meant for any students that are interested in practicing their English with the American teachers. We have different activities, themes, games, and topics for discussion each week. English Corner is really great, for it allows us to be more relaxed and candid with our students- not just the English students, but other grades and majors as well. We hold English Corner on the fourth floor in the foreign teacher's office after dinner, so it is dark by the time our activities are over.

One night after English Corner it was raining pretty heavily, so we were jumping puddles on the dimly lit sidewalk, ignoring wet socks in our wet shoes as we were heading back to our apartments. I heard my phone ring as I was approaching a lake in the sidewalk, and proceeded to answer it while concurrently looking for another path that wouldn't give me clammy feet. The phone call was one of my students asking about some homework, and as I was answering her question I saw my opportunity for a higher path, right between two trees.

I take an energetic step up onto the curb, unabashedly taking another step in between the two trees, while still talking to my student. But within that second step, I felt this delicate but strong, bungee-like substance stretch as my face melded into the strands, as they folded around my head, almost to my ears- while never snapping or breaking. That spiderweb was so taught and strong that I felt as though it could have propelled me backwards if I had let my feet leave the ground.

I squealed. I squealed right through the phone into my student's ear, but for the moment I had forgotten that I was even on the phone, because the BEYOND urgent concern was that the spider logged away in my memory was somewhere on my person- or worse, on my face. oh sick sick sick... I don't think I've ever shaken my body like a long-haired golden retriever stepping out of the water before, but that's what I did. After a good ten seconds of that, I regained a little bit of composure.

I apologized to my student for potentially making her eardrums bleed, hung up, and then slowly snuck up to the pair of trees to find out where the enemy was. THERE IT WAS. Little stinker was just chillin right about where my forehead threatened it's death trap. I stared it down, but it seemed pretty unfazed by the panic and emotional chaos.

Recovery for that incident was a lot more than a shudder and a gross noise. It involved a happy movie and lots of ice cream consumption followed by a thorough inspection of every corner in my apartment.