Who I was who I am

I am no longer the person that you want me to be.

I don’t crawl in the dark towards drinks and your arms

when in the light they stay locked in your pockets- no charm

and your eyes never reach my face

Don’t make me feel like I did that night

don’t ask me to be that girl - its not right

how as adults we find solace as temporary as an eclipse

that blocks out my ability to say no to this

Your loneliness is your own deal

don’t use me and abuse what affections I feel

towards you- and anyone- who is in my life strong

to satisfy a craving, only to actually prolong

the journey to who God intended you to be

faithful, respectful, and honoring all women- even me.

I want to fix you

but now i know why

my mother is broken

and i always would try

to fix

her.

and i couldn’t.

I can’t.

I won’t.

she is that way.

and won’t change.

ever.

and you won’t change either.

I can’t be your tether

to reality and to the Lord.

That is all on you.